I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
