Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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