That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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