what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
My vagina is very pro this idea
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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