absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
She bit a glass in half.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
