Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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