There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
