Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
