She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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