obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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