We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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