Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
