he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
