I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
