listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
