I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Randomize
