Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
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