So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
