He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
