WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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