Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
