Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
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Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
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did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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