Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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