Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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