I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Randomize
