you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
