I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
How many fucks given?
0.12846
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
