I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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