i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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