you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
