Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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