well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Randomize
