You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
well you can't waste a boner
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
