i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
