it's too hot outside to masturbate.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
