Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
