spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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