You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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