Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
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Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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