I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
