In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i love accidental penises.
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He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
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Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
So vagazzling was a success
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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