he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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