No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
