i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I need to stop coming to work sober
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
