Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I have already put on my inside pants.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize