trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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