No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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