It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
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I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
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The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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