that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got carded by a ten year old.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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