My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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