Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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