I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
