Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
