He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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