oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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