If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
