Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night