All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
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Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
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I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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