dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize