If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
